I believe in confusion

I never like to be me .I am very confused myself and I just hate it .I tried to be bits and pieces of everyone around me .But even that's confusing ..especially in today's world where every one have their own identity

What's more confusing is that I am the one asking the question , waiting for myself to answer it .What if I am not asking the right question ? What if I am not clear on what to ask ? The worst part is what if someone asks me something I don't know ? Why should I know everything ? I am not God !
Then why should I answer other's questions when I don't have a question to ask myself ? Nor the courage to answer it

May be I like confusion ..It just opens many options to think about and worry about .No No No ..Actually I believe in confusion .It improves one's reasoning power (though I didn't ask why ..why?).But why should I live in reasons and not in results?

Clarity is never good .It makes you biased and make you inclined  towards one particular view.But if I don't want to be confused , how the hell can I say clarity is not good  ? Is it because I never experienced it ?
May be some day I wake up and say I am not confused and I am clear of things to do .Shit ! I hate that feeling .I fear it as well

But I love fear .It asks for reasons that brings results.Oh wait ..I have a solution then ..Fear both clarity and confusion and ride the life like a pirate

Am I convinced ?

DREAMS INCOMPLETE

Everyone feel  that they are different. Everyone wants to be a leader. Everyone is a fighter and have this “Never Back Down” attitude in built in them. Everyone scores a special identity for themselves. I don’t know  what I am . I have nothing in common with any “everyone”. So, am I different ? Or am I a fighter or a leader with some itching attitude bothering me to search for a identity for myself ? I don’t know . I fucking don’t know about myself.

And, lately I found rhetoric reason for all this chaotic confusion and disturbing delusion. I may regularly repeat something or periodically pursue the same thing because I don’t dream .Or to put it in more simple words, when the whole world can live in two different worlds  (one real and other virtual ), I am devoid of one world completely ; which you may call the “Dream World” ( I can’t say that because I don’t know what it is ) .Did I make it complex ? I am helpless!!

Thanks to Abdul Kalam for his words . “Dream Is Not That What You See In Sleep..Dream Is The Thing Which Does Not Allow You To Sleep”. And Sigmund Freud I almost forgot you .. "Dreams are the royal road to the unconscious". You people make my life really complex . And a big WOOOW to “Inception” for your concept – “the planting of an idea into the mind of someone through dreams” . And dream inside a dream ? Christopher Nolan .. You really screwed my mind .I can’t dream about my dream gal , dream job or dream ‘dream’ (that dream which you always want to dream about ).How did you dream about a dream inside a dream .Insane !!

Some say dreams improve creativity . Sorry! Then you are confusing between imagination and mere ‘dreaming’ then. Some enthusiasts even cite the example of Einstein . It was believed that he contrived his dreams to be focused on his research work and by the time he woke up, he came up with astonishing results .My friends, then you are falling in the same pitfall again . Creativity comes with imagination and not with dreams .

I have one more logical premise to prove that nobody really dreams but just pretend to do so . Since the distance between both the real and virtual world is same, whether you travel from real to virtual or from virtual to real , the time taken should be the same (unless some influencing factors like sleeping pills and drugs are consumed).But one takes more time to reach ‘virtuality’ than that of ‘reality’.

Actually not dreaming about something helped me to realize all the things in reality itself. After all I am not in the confusion between dream and imagination. Since I don’t have any pre-conceived idea about anything ,tomorrow I may save myself  from being disappointed . Thanks God! You make me feel so different  (Am I different ?)

ఎందుకిలా అవుతోంది?

మనో స్థైర్యం స్తంభించింది
ఆత్మ విశ్వాసం ఊగిసలాడింది
నేను నేనుగా లేననిపించింది
చనిపోతానేమోనని  అనిపించింది .

భూమి బద్దలైనదా ?
లేక ప్రళయం నర్తించుచున్నదా ?
నాతో నేనే పోరాడనా ?
ఈ గోషను మరణిస్తూనే జీవించనా ?

అవధులు దాటినా ఆవేశం
తికమక పెట్టే ఆక్రోశం
ఏమి చేయలేని ఒంటరితనం
ఈ "చెవి పోటు"కు లేదా ఉపసమనం ?  

LETTER TO HEAVEN

WHO IS THERE TO WIPE MY TEAR ?

WHO IS THERE TO HEAR MY PRAYER ?

WHO WAS THERE TO HELP YOU ‘DEAR’ ?

WHO WAS THERE TO STOP ‘THE HORROR’ ?

THROUGH MEMORIES YOU CALL ME

FADING SUDDENLY,YOU ALWAYS TEASE ME

ALONE YOU LEFT ME

CARING NOTHING FOR ME .

GASES THEY RELEASED

FLYING YOU INTO ASHES

CULPRITS THEY RELEASED

LEAVING EVERYTHING TO ASHES .

“JUSTICE WILL BE DONE”,THEY YELLED

I’M SORRY, I AM TOO BLIND TO SEE

“COMPENSATION WILL BE GIVEN”,THEY ANNOUNCED

PITY ME, I AM TOO OLD TO WAIT ANYMORE .

“NEGLIGENCE – THE DEMON”, THEY CRIED

HOWLING THE FATAL DEATHSPELL

THEY NOT ONLY ROBBED MY LIFE

BUT ALSO THE GENERATIONS THAT FOLLOWED .

HANDICAPPED POLITICIANS,THEY SELL MY COUNTRY

F’LAW’ED COURTS,THEY CORRUPT MY COUNTRY

NAÏVE DOCTORS,THEY DISEASE MY COUNTRY

BLOODY CORPORATES,THEY RULE MY COUNTRY .

ILL BEHAVED

PEEVISH LOOKS AND PATHETIC ACTS

RIDICULOUS SMILES AND RUTHLESS SOULS

ALTOGETHER YOU ALL ARE “ILL BEHAVED”

OUR SECTION GALS RENOUNCED .

NEITHER YOU VALUE OUR FEELINGS

NOR YOU CAN EVER UNDERSTAND US

YOU ROUGH FACES

ALWAYS BRIM EXTREME RASHNESS .

FORGET THE GET-TOGETHER

FIRST CORRECT YOUR BEHAVIOUR

WE ARE ALWAYS OPEN FOR “UNITY”

DECLARED THE GIRL COMMUNITY .

‘CHECK YOUSELF FIRST’

ALL ECHOED WITH ONE VOICE

SHOW SOME ACT OF CLASS

DEMANDED THE GUYS .

NEVER YOU SUPPORT OUR MASS BUNKS

NEVER YOU POSTPONE THE LABS

ALWAYS TRYING TO BE EXTRA SINCERE

FROM WHERE DID “UNITY” INTERFERE ?

NEITHER YOU CAN BEAT US IN INTELLIGENCE

NOR YOU CAN CHALLENGE OUR CREATIVENESS

WHICH ‘FACE VALUE’ ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ?

WHOSE CHARACTER ARE YOU QUESTIONING ABOUT ?

WE INVITE YOU TO THE PARTIES

BUT YOU POINT OUR HAUGHTINESS

WE REQUEST YOU TO BUILD UNITY

AND YOU SHAME US FOR OUR DIGNITY .

WITH HARDLY ANY TIME LEFT TO LIVE OUR COLLEGE LIFE

THERE’S NO NEED FOR THIS HUE AND CRY

LET’S SHOW THAT WE ARE THE BEST

WHETHER WE FIGHT OR WE PARTY .

IF THERE WOULD BE A ‘REUNION’ EVER

NEITHER YOU COME NOR I

SO, LET’S ENJOY THESE 'HAPPY DAYS'

WITH PURE HEARTS TO THE FULLEST